Dealing With Difficult People at Work

Watch: Dealing With Difficult People at Work

If you have a problematic coworker, there are several ways to deal with them. Please treat them with respect, show compassion and kindness, and learn your company's policies on challenging behavior. If you've been dealing with difficult people at work for several years, you know that you can't always make them happy. However, there are ways to deal with these individuals and make your experiences with them a bit more bearable. Listed below are a few of these strategies.

Communicating with difficult coworkers

Occasionally, you may encounter difficult coworkers. These individuals are hard to deal with and often remind you of people you may have disliked in other aspects of your life. Even more challenging? They remind you of behaviors you replicated in the past. No matter what they trigger (what you don’t like in others or yourself), it's essential to keep an open mind and try to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Keeping a calm and non-confrontational tone is crucial when communicating with difficult coworkers. You can control your communication style by maintaining direct eye contact (if culturally appropriate) and using proper body language and facial expressions. If a coworker is particularly aggressive, avoid saying anything that would upset them, particularly if front of other coworkers.

If the problem coworker is difficult, try to understand their background. They may have experienced a difficult childhood and are passing it on to others. I believe that a number one concern at work is the sheer number of unresolved childhood issues we bring there. When you try to understand their background, they may be more accepting of your viewpoint. “Seek first to understand before being understood.”

The most difficult employees are often the ones with a fixed mindset prone to “either, or, black/white thinking.” Their lack of respect and empathy makes them challenging to work with and be around. They may also need to be fired or replaced, which may not happen quickly. However, it is essential to remember that difficult coworkers are sometimes brilliant, so avoiding them may mean avoiding great opportunities to learn and to see the world from a different vantage point.

Often, difficult coworkers do not realize that they are harming others. Learning how to communicate with difficult people in a friendly way is essential. The best way to do this is to talk to them directly. Make sure to keep your body loose, your mind open, and adopt a non-aggressive tone, and use appropriate body language.

Use specific examples to illustrate your point. Be careful not to use general statements about how you feel, as they might appear accusatory. Use specific examples to give them something to respond to. Lastly, use the "I" language and avoid using "you" in your communication.

Remember that people don't like to be publicly shamed or confronted, so don't be aggressive in your communication. Instead, try to understand the other person's perspective and offer alternatives. If possible, meet with them in a private place, in a neutral location. If calm talk fails, make sure you check in with your supervisor for new ideas and strategies.